The wedding bells, they are a’ringing

“When are you getting married?”

If I were to create a FAQ for the mister’s and my relationship, this would be the first question we addressed. We’ve heard this question almost the entire length of our relationship and the answer was always the same, “We’ll let you know when it happens.” I’ve alluded to this a couple of months ago, I’m happy to finally reveal that yes, a wedding is happening. Next year in fact. In May.

So, uh…we’re engaged!

Now, our engagement story is befitting the nature of our relationship. It’s…different. Different in that there hasn’t been an official proposal with a ring yet. We’ve known for many, many, many the years that we would be getting married (that’s the reason why he gave me the promise for our first anniversary) and we’ve talked about it constantly. It was going to happen; we just didn’t know when. So when the mister moved out here in March, we knew things would start moving towards that goal. After several more discussions, we decided to just go ahead and get the ball rolling. So we picked a date and have been planning all summer.

Yes, we’ve been engaged since May and I’m just now announcing it. I know it’s a little strange but at first I wanted to wait until we had an actual proposal story to share but now that we’re closing in on 8 months until the big day, we realized that we would have to start telling people anyway since we need to get addresses and send out invitations. It would be a little weird for our friends to receive an invite to a wedding they had no idea was happening. And I’ll admit that I was worried about what people who say when they heard the news and I didn’t have the typical proposal story. It’s silly because a ring doesn’t make us engaged; the fact that we’ve decided to get married makes us engaged. Plus, this way just makes a lot more sense for us.

It took me a little bit to come to that conclusion, many thanks to the mister’s constant reassurances. He’s great like that. I should marry him. Oh wait, I AM!!

So there will be a proposal story in the future and I’ll share that when it happens. But until then, we’re prepping and getting things in place for our May wedding. I can’t believe I’m writing that about myself.

Of course I’m blogging about it so you can check out the wedding planning posts here at

We’re getting married!

The end is only the beginning

Hello (hello…hello…hello)!

See what I did there? It’s an echo. Because…you know…I hardly ever post…Oooooh-kay.

So there has been some exciting changes going on here and I’ll just cut to the chase: the mister has made the move to California!

He’s been here for 3 months now and we’re all settled into our new, normal routine. The transition was a lot smoother than I was expecting (and preparing for) but I’m definitely glad it went as well as it did, especially considering the alternative. The biggest adjustment for me has been not automatically accepting invitations but checking with him first. I’m so used to just deciding what to do but in the beginning I had to remind myself to check first before responding to an invite. And the biggest adjustment for him is, well, being in California.

The first couple of weeks felt like a regular visit so it wasn’t until we hit the third week and realized that we wouldn’t be going to the airport anytime soon that it really started to feel real.┬áIt’s been really nice having him here and finally being a regular couple. I love coming home from work to him and spending time together casually. There’s no rush to fit in everything before the other leaves. If it happens, great. If it doesn’t, there’s always tomorrow. There’s always tomorrow.

sfo sign

Waiting for him to appear was the longest how-ever-many-minutes-it-was of my life. The anticipation, nerves, and excitement combined to make the most potent mix of almost nauseous excitement. You know that special level of excitement where you feel like you could almost throw up or faint and then you get annoyed and frustrated because you just want it to happen already? That was me waiting for him to appear at the security gate. Oh how I wished we were still able to meet people at the gate!

But I managed to remain calm and carry on, he appeared, we hugged, I grinned like a silly little girl, and here we are, planning lots of adventures, discussing mundane things like budgets and career paths, putting together Ikea furniture, and sitting on the couch on our respective devices while kind of watching Family Feud. This is one of life’s pleasures.

After being together for the past few months, I can’t believe we spent 8 years apart. How did we manage that? Being a normal couple is fantastic and I’m so glad the long distance portion of our relationship is finally over. It’s been a long (long) time in the making.

Duchess Kate is my royal homegirl

Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge

Also, I wish I had her hair

When you’ve been in a relationship as long as the mister and I have been (7 years and counting. Our┬árelationship is a second grader now) people naturally become curious as to what your future plans are. When are you going to see each other next? When will you two move together? When will you get married? You know you’re not getting any younger, right? And neither are your eggs.

Someone once asked me what the hardest part of our relationship has been and I told them it’s been managing other people’s expectations. I’d spent the week before each trip priming people to not expect an engagement ring when I returned.

I was still met with disappointment every time.

It’s kind of like what Kate Middleton went through before her and Prince William became engaged. They were together for 8 years before he finally proposed and during that time, the media speculated on if and when they were going to get married, criticized her not getting a “real job” (outside of working part time as an accessories buyer and for her parents’ party planning business) and then unceremoniously (and rudely) dubbed her “Waity Katie.”

Yet no one wondered if they had discussed marriage before they reconciled (remember, they broke up for a few months) and set a timeline that they both agreed to. I don’t believe you break up with someone and then get back together without some serious “where is this relationship going?” discussions. Perhaps Wills wanted to get through his military training first and maybe she wanted to make sure she could handle the rigors of royal life before accepting. But no, all the discussion was about how pathetic she was for just waited around for him.

OMG, Kate. I totally know how that feels.

For the mister and I, we had to deal with the perception of us not being fully committed, regardless of the fact that we’ve stuck it out for 7 years and have been completely faithful to one another. We get criticized for not moving sooner even though there were several (several) layers to navigate and it wasn’t just as simple as packing up and leaving. People wondered if we were serious about getting married and would ever make it down the aisle.

But what they didn’t see was how the mister and I discussed every single aspect of our relationship. How we never shied away from discussing marriage and our future since very early on in our relationship. How we had several uncomfortable, and sometimes heated, conversations about moving and who would be moving where.How we cried, became angry at one another, and didn’t talk to each other for a couple of days. But we always made up and move forward together. We remembered that we were in this for the long haul and that we were what we wanted.

Not to say that I’m completely immune to the outside commentators. I feel bad for the mister because he doesn’t deserve that characterization. I know why it’s taken so long but whenever I try to explain the reason, people just nod as if I were naive. It bothers me but I have to remember that their concern comes from a sincere place that it simply based upon incomplete information.

And even though it may sometimes feel like it, at least I don’t have an entire nation (and world) awaiting our engagement news.

So…have anything you’d like to share with the world?

Six years strong

This week the bf and I celebrated our sixth anniversary. That’s 72 months, 312 weeks, 2,191 days, 52, 584 hours…okay, you get it:

We’ve been together a long dang time.

While we were driving down to Monterey in January [I know, still owe you a write up], I found myself looking over at him and marveling in the fact that we had been together for almost six years at that point, and for a few seconds, I kind of silently freaked out. Six years? SIX YEARS?! If our relationship was a kid, it’d be in the first grade! While I was freaking out, a sudden calm hit when I realized just how awesome this whole thing is.

Six years ago I was a skeptic, cynic and yet hopeful that I would have a love like this. I was doubtful it would happen, even joking that I would just settle for becoming a nun. That worked until I realized I wasn’t Catholic and so becoming a nun was no longer an option. Not that it ever actually was, but it was nice to have something there. I also was randomly concerned about my ability to being a girlfriend, as my relationships up until that point never lasted a month, and thus never required any real level of emotional support that a significant other typically provides.

But then I met the mister and things began to change. The transition wasn’t smooth, not in the least bit. We had a lot of learning to do about ourselves as individuals and us as a couple. I was no longer in a situation where I could think only about myself, which was incredibly difficult. Not that I’m completely self-centered but after 23 years of doing things my way, it was hard to step back and remember that my decisions were now affecting someone other than myself and that I would need to account for them. He had to adjust to someone with a very strong independent drive. There were new communication styles to maneuver around and expectations to meet. This was all so very new to me and incredibly overwhelming to me, that at times I felt that I was failing as a girlfriend.

Of course, I was not failing at being a girlfriend, but simply learning how to be one. Today, we still have our minor skirmishes but it feels so good to be at the point where I no longer am stricken with The Fear that any fight could potentially signal the end of our relationship, that we would work through it, talk it out and bounce back instead of simply giving up. It feels good knowing that I can think about our future and know that he’ll be there with me.

We’ve taught each other a lot of things and there are still many lessons left to be learned. Like, don’t touch or think of touching my stomach when it I’m nauseous or I might hurl. Or if he’s really serious about making sure we clean EVERY weekend. Um. Yeah. About that…

But through it all, he has been there for me and continues to stand by my side, to comfort, support, encourage and yes, even get on my nerves. I love him and he loves me.

Here’s to the first six years of our lifetime. I love you lovely.

Its like the Real World or something

I’m finally back into my supposed groove after a pretty busy spring quarter at school and a much needed and anticipated two week vacation visiting the bf. Nearly 14 days of unadulterated me and him time. All the time. No breaks.

A quirk of being a long distance couple is that since the majority of our visits tend to average about 4-7 days, we’re usually pressed for time and don’t really get the chance to fall into our normal mode. We’re on our best behavior because we’ll only be together for x amount of days and who wants to be all annoyed and mad when who knows when we’ll next see each other? Naturally one can only be nice for so long and eventually the real you is bound to squeeze out.

My real me typically involves lots of watching gratuitous amounts of television. And taking my sweet time shopping in stores. And bouncing around from roller coaster to roller coaster [story forthcoming]. And whining in inclement weather: within minutes of walking out of the airport, I start whining about the humidity. Seriously. Heat I can deal with, its the humidity that I don’t like. Who wants to walk around feeling sticky all the time? No this girl. Heat is that guy you hesitate to invite to the party because you’re not sure if he’ll bring Humidity with him. And you didn’t invite Humidity.You never invite Humidity.

But I digress. I also don’t really accept change that I don’t initiate very well. We had plans to visit my adoptive Michigan family but the day we had planned to go there were torrential downpours in the Detroit area. In all honesty, there really wasn’t an issue in changing plans but for some reason when the bf mentioned it, I was heartbroken. His reasoning made perfect sense but for some reason I kept thinking how rude it would be to cancel last minute and what if they had made plans for us?!

Of course the bf didn’t quite understand why I was being so pouty [truth be told, neither did I] and while we were discussing it, he expressed his displeasure and ROLLED HIS EYES AT ME.

People, I stopped in my tracks and stared at him. All I could think was, “Did he just roll his eyes at me?” And then I turned around and nearly cracked a smile because 1] he’s probably rolled his eyes at me before but I can’t see it over the phone or IM, 2] I realized just how stupid the whole thing was. I mean, I knew it would work out [and it did] but sometimes you feel things that just aren’t rational and you just have to roll with it until the end. That’s stubborn commitment right there.

Sure we walked out of the room slightly tense and went our ways but we came back and worked things out, which was really the point. But y’all, you know how I am amused that he rolled his eyes at me this one time? I don’t know if I’ll find it so novel in the future but hey, it worked this time.

I do have some more stories to share from my epic two week vacation that don’t involve sitting on the couch watching television, I swear.

One of which may or may not involve frogs’ legs and whether or not they taste like chicken. Chew on that.