Oh no, that one’s broken. Take it back.

On my drive home the other night I thought about how great it would be to be able to drive home and see the bf after a long day. Of course, a second later I realized I wouldn’t be able to do that, which led to the mini funk that led to the yesterday’s reaction to the somewhat innocuous statement. But I digress.

I was thinking of how we’ll eventually be living together. Me, living with a boy that isn’t my dad. What a step huh? We briefly talked about it during my visit. He doesn’t want me to have to deal with any potential crazy roommates, other than him but I can handle his brand of crazy – the question is can he handle my packrat ways because it’s going to happen. Eventually. It always creeps up no matter what I do. Even in a streamlined room I will find someplace to hoard my stuff. I most certainly will. It’s like a challenge. Oh and did I mention he completely vetoed my idea of having the color green be an accent color in every room? Because he so did. I’m still disappointed over that.

While in the beginning I wanted to wait until we were engaged before we moved in together, our situation doesn’t really work well with that option. To be honest, should the bf end up making the move to California, it would be kind of silly to have him settled in one place and me in another. We’re going to be together the majority of the time anyway so why waste the extra rent and just settle into one home from the get go? We know that we’re going to get married anyway so there’s no real worries on that part.

Naturally the parents would be the ones to voice any kind of disapproval. Considering that we sleep separately when we visit each other, that’s to be expected. Yes, even at the tender ages of 27 and 26 years. When you live at home you gotta respect the rules, no matter the age. We’re working under the assumption that his mom would disapprove unless we were engaged and even that is a maybe [that she approves] while my mom is on the record as saying that it would be better if we waited until we were married. Even if we were engaged first before we moved in together and would be getting married fairly soon afterwards.

Her concern is that something might happen and he would leave and I’d be “damaged.” I swear to you that’s what she said. Damaged. I had to stifle a laugh and ask her what exactly she meant by “damaged” but since she didn’t really elaborate I’m going to say that’s her euphemism for “knocked up.” I bet you five million dollars.

DAMAGED!! In this day and age! Who thinks that kind of stuff these days? I mean, besides my mom? I figure, if there’s a time to figure out how we live then there’s nothing wrong with figuring it out before we get married so we can work them kinks out, no? What’s the real difference? Besides the obvious. I can ask myself the same question, what’s the difference by waiting until I’m engaged? It just looks better. Oh, well then, so there you go.

But you know I have to do what’s best for me and my relationship, even if that means potentially doing things that the parents won’t fully approve of. I can live with that. Besides, once I’m out on my own, what more can they really say?

Oh snap! My mom has definitely raised an All-American child.

Exchange of the week:

talda: so i brought up the topic of me & the bf living together to mom and she said it wasn’t a good idea. that smthg might happen and i’d be “damaged”


talda: i know! what’s next? talk of a dowry? crap, now that he and i live together i’m only worth a couple of chickens instead of a cow and some goats

2 thoughts on “Oh no, that one’s broken. Take it back.

  1. aki says:

    does it make you feel any better if i told you that my mom and grandmother uses the term “damaged” too? i remember my grandmother [on my mom’s side] telling me once in regards to sex before marriage.. that when i meet my husband, if he finds out i’ve been w/ another man, he’ll think i’m “damaged” and won’t want me. maybe it’s an asian saying, haha.

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