I have about six different posts in various stages of incomplete thoughts. Some are more thought out than most, but really, the only differences between the majority of them is the number of sentences (or even words in some select cases) in the draft. It’s kind of disheartening and frustrating.
I’ve documented my bouts with Writer’s block before and while I’m not ready to cop to another round of it, I know there is something blocking my ability to fully form my thoughts into coherent sentences.
So what do I have in my draft file?
1) My reactions to my mom saying things going back to normal after my sister and the BF returned home following my graduation. Yes, way back in May. I was going to write about my desire for creating a new normal but just couldn’t flesh out the idea.
2) My job search progress. I started this a few months ago to ruminate on my current processes and wondering where I’m going wrong. I started it and then abandoned it when I simply lost interest in the topic. As a quick update, I did have an interview last week though haven’t heard back. Bummer. The job was sooo perfect for me!
3) That weird spot between deciding you want to marry your significant other and actually getting engaged. It’s kind of awkward floating in “engagement purgatory,” especially when there are some extenuating circumstances (long distance, jobs, you know, the usual ) keeping you in a prolonged holding pattern. This was really a hot topic in my head but when I started to write, I just kept getting confused and lost steam.
4) Why I don’t think I want to start my own business. I get calls all the time about starting my own business, whether it’s to sell my crafts or to plan parties and while I think it could eventually become a nice little side job, I just don’t have any real desire to make it happen.
5) My primary care doctors and why I’m secretly in platonic love with one of them. Hint: It’s his clothes.
6) What I would splurge on if I did, in fact, splurge.
So there, that’s what I have in the pipeline for the blog. But with the depth of material, sometimes I wonder if I’m really dedicated to continue blogging. Is this something I really want to do? Because if it was, I’d have no problem blogging. Is it because I usually don’t get comments? Comments are motivating pieces of crack since you know for sure that people read and possibly enjoyed what you wrote, but do I write commentable posts? Do I make you think? Is that really my goal? To make you think? Or is it just a little space for a quick, breezy read that hopefully makes you at least chuckle? Maybe I should go back to stream of consciousness writing? Nah, I don’t want to go back there. while it was easy to get a post written practically everyday, my earlier writings are so unfocused and comical that it’s kind of hard to go back and read them and I don’t think I really want to go back there.
Huh, that last paragraph was a little stream of consciousness writing. That wasn’t so bad. Maybe I should try it out more often.
But in the end, isn’t it funny how I always seem to have no problem writing about my Writer’s Block? What is that all about? #Irony.