It’s the New Year. Again.

Posted in Everyday

thanks-not-laughing-absurdly-new-years-ecard-someecards

2012 has been very, very good to me. I was incredibly blessed. I started working after being laid off for 2 years (and have been learning a lot!), celebrated the mister’s 30th birthday with him and made my first ever carrot cake (to delicious reviews), set a personal record for a 5k race, celebrated my 31st birthday in Olympic style, wandered around Yosemite National Park with the mister, and mentally and physically tested myself in a half marathon. All in all, this year was pretty great.

olympic birthday partyHappy Olympic birthday to me!

IMG_0392It’s us! In Yosemite! On bikes!

IMG_0025 I “ran” 13.1 miles & all I got was this really awesome medal. And blisters.

I’m looking forward to 2013 because I know this will be an even better year. I do have some very exciting news I’m bursting to announce but I’ll hold off for now (no, I’m not engaged. I promise I’ll let you know when that happens). Just trust me, you’ll be excited too.

Aside from my annual resolution to make 2013 better than 2012, here are a few of the other things I’d like to work on in this new year:

My resolutions for 2013:

1) Continue getting stronger

After donating my gym fees for the majority of the year last year, I reintroduced myself and started getting my $10 worth each month. SO far it’s been almost 2 months since I started back up and while my weight loss has been pretty stagnant, I am feeling stronger and better, which is a pretty awesome thing. I’ve been doing a bit of cardio and then weight lifting a couple days a week and I look forward to my gym nights. I have a new gym, I have a semi-solid routine I do each day (I moved from the predetermined circuit section to using the other machines on the floor) and I’ve been slowly adding in new machines. Maybe by the end of the year I’ll be using the free weights!

While, yes I’m really gunning to lose weight (which won’t happen until I rehab my eating habits) I’m really glad to be active again. I just feel better overall when I’m active. We’ll see how things go when the weather warms up again and I dust off my running shoes. I do believe my gym work will help improve my running, which leads us to…

2) Run!

I do plan on continuing to run (I have a clever DIY project I made over my Christmas break to display my racing bibs to share with you all) and I am hopefully going to be able to run 2 half marathons this year. I’m definitely going to revisit the Healdsburg Wine County Half Marathon and hopefully will be able to fit in a second one. I do plan on doing a couple of shorter runs as well because I really enjoy the race experience. And also the medals. Okay, I do it for the medals.

3) Practice Korean

Yes, this is on my list again. Don’t judge me! I do hope to carve some time out during my busy week to practice some Korean, even if it’s only for a few minutes. That’s better than nothing, right?

4) Have fun

Life is for the living. My goal is to have fun, whether that means going for a run, hanging out with friends, or spending some quiet time alone. I will enjoy what I’m doing and strive to do the things that I like to do. I want to explore and have new adventures, laugh, love, and have those moments where Instagramming/tweeting/Facebooking is the last thing I’m thinking about. I want to live less through my smartphone and more though myself.

Here’s to 2013.

#WEverb12: Stay (Listen)

Posted in Everyday

WEVerb day 3

One way I stayed in the moment this year was to put my phone and camera away. Between digital cameras, Facebook, Twitter, and my latest obsession Instagram, it’s really easy to document every moment of my life. But when I’m so focused on tweeting that unexpected one-liner or Instagraming that amazing view from the beach, I end up missing out on the simple act of being.

While I was at Yosemite this summer, I was so overwhelmed by the desire to take pictures of everything. And in the rush to capture everything, I realized I was missing out on a lot of the park because I was so busy looking through the viewfinder. So instead of taking pictures to remember the excursion, I forced myself to put my camera back in the bag and just experience the park. I felt the sun and wind on my face as the boyfriend and I rode bikes through the park. I looked at the mountains, meadows, and the mountain lion that ran across our path on our way out of the park! I did the same during my first half marathon; Sonoma Valley has some gorgeous views and I enjoyed every moment of that run, even the parts where I was convinced I was going to die. Um, dramatic much?

Sure I wasn’t able to share what I saw on Facebook, but what’s a few likes and random comments in comparison to the sights of the rolling vineyards on that warm late October day?

I’ll admit now that I have an iPhone, it’s harder to put it away and the temptation to surf the Internet is greater, but it’s so rewarding when I do. The Internet will still be there but that moment hanging out with my family and friends? I won’t have that moment again.

So my new mantra: just because it’s not on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.
WEverb12 reflect & renew

Origins of a grown up skin care routine

Posted in Everyday

Since I last wrote about my first experience with Origins, I had been going back and forth (and loading up many online shopping carts) on whether or not I was going to invest in the products for my new skin care routine but I just couldn’t get past the price and the sheer number of products the original woman recommended. There was no way I would be able to deal with using five products for my face each and every morning and then trying to figure out when I would use the Modern Friction and Clear Improvement face mask during the week was quite daunting. In case you don’t remember, here is the army:

The entire routine. Every day (except for 2 & 3, which would be once to twice a week).

That’s a crazy amount of products isn’t it? That’s what I thought. After mulling it over, I decided the best course of action would be to head to a different Origins store for a second opinion. So on a Friday after work, I headed towards the nearest Origins store and brought my conundrum to a very helpful saleswoman. She sounded appalled that I had been recommended so many items and after I told her my concerns (remember: combination skin, sun exposure and a new one: keeping my face looking fresh since I don’t wear makeup) and the caveat: I needed something that wasn’t complicated and can easily be done in minutes on a daily basis, she set about to put together a routine for me.

She gathered five bottles (5! That’s less than 8! We’re already doing better than the first time) and walked me through the entire routine, which was one she used herself. The base consists of the Checks and Balances face wash, followed with A Perfect World toner and A Perfect World Moisturizer. She added two additional optional products: Modern Friction and A Perfect World serum. This was something I could easily do every day, and honestly, is really only one more product than I was already using (face wash and moisturizer).

The starting lineup. Much more realistic for me.

Six months later and I’m loving my new skin care routine. My face looks cleaner for longer. I had a problem with oil creeping back to my face halfway through the day and making it seem as if I didn’t wash my face. Now my face still looks clean well into the afternoon. I ended up getting the Big 3 and the Modern Friction scrub, which is probably my favorite product out of the bunch. I am way too ridiculously excited to use it twice a week; like, scrub days are my favorite days of the week.

I’m glad I found a system that works for me. Yes, it is spendy but considering that I’m still using the same stuff I bought six months ago I’d say it was money well spent.

I watched Spider-Man. And then I cried.

Posted in Everyday

A couple of weekends ago I finally watched the Amazing Spider-Man with the mister. I thought it was a great movie and I really enjoyed it and felt it was well done. A lot better than the Tobey Maguire versions.

What I wasn’t expecting was the emotional reaction I had to the film. Fans of the comic book know that Uncle Ben dies (and Gwen’s dad, which I totally saw coming but was still caught off-guard. Oh, uh, spoiler alert) and the way they portrayed his death and the after-effects with Aunt May exclaiming how she couldn’t sleep and watching Peter listen  to an old voicemail from Uncle Ben really made me think about my dad. It was hard to push through the rest of the movie and I was a sobbing mess by the end of it. Not so much because of what happened but because of the emotions that were stirred up within me.

It’s been almost 3 years since my dad passed away and while I think I’m relatively okay, I know there are still…I’m not sure I’d say unresolved feelings but it’s still a very tender and emotional thing for me. It’s been so long and I realized I never really had a big, cleansing cry. No one knows how you’re supposed to grieve. Everyone reacts differently and I always just expected to have a really big, massive ugly cry and be okay afterwards. But I never had that emotional release.

My dad died and we had to instantly move into the transition mode. I didn’t really have time to think, “Oh what are we going to do?” We had to immediately figure out what to do. We had funeral arrangements to make, people and organizations to notify, and affairs to get in order. I spent the whole first year dealing with that, house hunting and moving, and finishing school. I’ve had smaller moments when I’ve had to cry and I’m sad but I haven’t sat and just bawled. Sometimes I wonder if I’m SUPPOSED to do that, if that’s something I should expect to do. Am I still experiencing these waves of sadness because I haven’t had that cleansing cry or really dealt with my emotions? Does it get easier than this? Am I going to be able to one day watch a movie with a father character dying and not cry because it reminds me of my dad?

I just don’t know. I guess the grieving process is never really done. At least, that’s been my experience so far. You’ll always kind of grieve in some way. I have my own triggers that brings me to tears. Grieving is just so singular. It’s weird because there’s no right way to do it and while I tell people that all the time, I haven’t really figured that out for myself just yet. I really wish there was a right answer. It’s just awkward. I feel like I’m just forever in this awkward stage. I can’t bring my dad back; we can only move forward. I just wish there was some kind of way to know that I was actually moving forward and not just treading water.

The mister has encouraged me to talk to a grief counselor and there really isn’t a reason why I shouldn’t. I can come up with several stupid reasons not to but nothing that resembles a real reason. I just need to know that it’s okay to feel the way that I do. It’s okay to cry every once in a while when something reminds me of him or because I’m just sad. It’s okay that I didn’t sit and have a big cry and it’s okay if I never have that big cry. It’s okay to still feel like this just happened even though it’s been almost 3 years. That it’s okay to feel this way because this is exactly how I feel. I can’t be wrong; there’s no wrong way to feel and that’s okay.

I just really need to know that it’s okay.

I ran a Half Marathon; I do what I want.

Posted in Running on Asphalt

You guys: I did it. I survived the Healdsburg Wine Country Half Marathon. And when I say ‘survived,’ I really, really mean SURVIVED because it was a battle of wills.

As I said before, I didn’t really train as much as I should have. This wasn’t the distance where I could mess around and expect to do well like I did for my last 5k, but yet I allowed myself to be talked out of running at every turn. That was a huge mistake. I was arrogant and stupid and grossly overestimated my ability to run 13.1 miles for the first time ever.

I was a bundle of nerves but ready or not, I was going to run. The race started fairly well. My whole plan was to alternate between running and walking (this helped to inflate my ego and confidence in my ability to finish this race without much issue. I’m trying not to smirk as I write this.) and because I’m a genius, I didn’t have anything to actually time myself to make sure I stayed on a 2 min run/1 min walk pace. I ended up running until I needed to walk, which worked for a while but I ended up running out of steam a lot sooner than I probably would have had I regulated myself.

I started touching the mile markers at 7 miles because I had never ran that far before and it seemed appropriate. Things were going well until around the 9 mile mark and then I hit the wall at mile 10. I could barely convince myself to move and ended up walking most of the last 3 miles, which was kind of disappointing. I thought about quitting several times during the race but when I touched that 13 mile marker I was proud that I kept going through the sore muscles, blistered toes, and a slightly wounded ego.

I did end up running across the finish line (even though the pictures make it look like I just walked) and my final time was 3:10:31. While I hoped to finish under 3 hours, I’m happy to have finished at all. Sure I could barely move and had to shuffle but I conquered 13.1 miles and had the medal to prove it.

I wore that medal all day. Looked great while shopping for snacks at the gas station on my drive home.

I wore that medal all day. Looked great while shopping for snacks at the gas station on my drive home.

Would I do this again? Abso-freaking-lutely! I’m already looking for my next half and I’m sure I’ll sign up for the Healdsburg race again next year. Would I do a full marathon? Right now I say no knowing full well that I could change my mind later on (remember when I said I wasn’t going back to school?). Let’s just say I’m keeping my options open.

I can do that. I ran a half marathon.