Eavesdropping on…even more conversations at work

Coworker D: Speaking of which…This homeless guy got on Bart this morning and stood next to this pregnant woman. Now normally I wouldn’t have thought any more of it than “oh man that sucks, he must stink”. But based on my knowledge of pregnant women and their sense of smell I wanted to cry for her.
Talda: you’ve adopted some super sensory powers yourself with the wife’s pregnancy
Talda: now you like, have feelings and care and stuff
Talda: what is up with that?
Coworker D: :-O
Coworker D:: I don’t know what you’re talking about
Talda: yeah. you care about other people now. you exhibit empathy!

Eavesdropping on…sisterly conversations

lindsey: i really wanted to say “hey, i like UCLA’s number 24. not you, USC 24″
talda: haha. they both start with u and end in 24…he would have still thought you were talking about him
lindsey: hahhaha
lindsey: he was so slow-witted
lindsey: link – I removed the link cuz I felt bad…I know. I’M COMPASSIONATE!
lindsey: :-(
talda: i’m sending you a picture of my reaction
talda: you need to warn me when you do stuff like that.
lindsey: HAHHAHAHA
lindsey: HAHAHAH
talda: a simple, “hey, hope you didn’t eat yet” or even, “this is totally not safe for work!”
lindsey: oh sorry
lindsey: NSFW
lindsey: no wait
lindsey: it’s NSFL
talda: lmao

Eavesdropping on…more conversations at work

talda: Hello?
Anthony: Wow, you actually answered your phone
talda: Of course. Now, look at your clock and subtract 3.
Anthony: Don’t tell me you’re still at work! But it’s late.
talda: Of course I’m still at work! It’s only 4:20 here.
Anthony: You’re always working when I call.
talda: Didn’t they teach you how to count at Michigan State?

Spelling it out…

talda: i’m just being honest

Matt: yes. it’s ok.

Matt: you like to antagonize

talda: yes. yes i do

talda: haha, you can’t spell antagonize without t-e-a-n-a

Matt: haha


Matt: i don’t like this.

talda: don’t like what? that i antagonize other people too?

Matt: haha yes

talda: haha. i can not put it up

Matt: what?

talda: make you feel a little more special

Matt: ha

Matt: or… put an asterisk by my name

talda: an asterisk? why for?

Matt: to say that i’m special.

Matt: and individual results may vary

talda: haha

talda: look at you. all lawyer-y

Matt: yes

Just for you Matt*

Eavesdropping on…conversations over lunch

talda: is it wrong to pick out the raisins in an oatmeal-raisin cookie?
Mel: lmfao!!
Mel: i wouldn’t!!!
talda: oh
talda: lol
Mel: but i like raisins
talda: i’m getting full. i always start picking out things i don’t really care for out of food when i start to get full
talda: as if taking out those bits will free up space for the rest of the food
talda: that should have been one of my random facts about myself
Mel: lmfao!!!

It just shook like a Polaroid picture…

People [and when I say people I mean everyone who doesn't live in California] always ask me how I could live in California with “all those earthquakes.”

How? Easy. This is how I can live with “all those earthquakes…”

[earth trembles]
No one moves. People keep typing. Couple of seconds later…

Co-worker 1: Did you feel that?
Co-worker 2: Yeah
CO1: Congratulations on your first earthquake in this building. At least I think it was an earthquake. Could have been a truck.
CO2: I felt one before a couple of weeks ago, I think.
CO1: Are you sure it was an earthquake. Sometimes you can feel it when a truck goes by
Talda: That was an earthquake?
CO1: Yeah.
Talda: Huh. I thought it was a truck.

It wasn’t a truck.

So to answer your question, it’s because half the time we think an earthquake is JUST A GIANT TRUCK.

Is that really how you feel?

talda: Lindsey, I’m so glad mom and dad had you.

Lindsey: Why? Because I’m the cookie goddess?

talda: [looks at her and smiles]

Lindsey: I can’t believe you only love me because I make you cookies!

talda: You only love me because I turn on your heater in the morning!

Lindsey: I love you because you’re my sister. The heater is just a nice thing. At least my reason’s better…

talda: Hey! Cookies are awesome!