Coworker D: Speaking of which…This homeless guy got on Bart this morning and stood next to this pregnant woman. Now normally I wouldn’t have thought any more of it than “oh man that sucks, he must stink”. But based on my knowledge of pregnant women and their sense of smell I wanted to cry for her.
Talda: you’ve adopted some super sensory powers yourself with the wife’s pregnancy
Talda: now you like, have feelings and care and stuff
Talda: what is up with that?
Coworker D: :-O
Coworker D:: I don’t know what you’re talking about
Talda: yeah. you care about other people now. you exhibit empathy!
Talda: I’d rather have the TV. Someone else can have Justin.
Lindsey: I’ll take Justin.
Lindsey: I think I got the short end of the deal here.
lindsey: i really wanted to say “hey, i like UCLA’s number 24. not you, USC 24″
talda: haha. they both start with u and end in 24…he would have still thought you were talking about him
lindsey: he was so slow-witted
lindsey: link – I removed the link cuz I felt bad…I know. I’M COMPASSIONATE!
talda: i’m sending you a picture of my reaction
talda: you need to warn me when you do stuff like that.
talda: a simple, “hey, hope you didn’t eat yet” or even, “this is totally not safe for work!”
lindsey: oh sorry
lindsey: no wait
lindsey: it’s NSFL
lindsey: NOT SAFE FOR LIFE.
Anthony: Wow, you actually answered your phone
talda: Of course. Now, look at your clock and subtract 3.
Anthony: Don’t tell me you’re still at work! But it’s late.
talda: Of course I’m still at work! It’s only 4:20 here.
Anthony: You’re always working when I call.
talda: Didn’t they teach you how to count at Michigan State?
Let’s add this to the list of things you don’t ever want to hear. Ever.
Especially not before 10 in the morning:
“My wife’s coming home today so I’ve been taking my pills.”
Irate caller: Let me ask you this, were you there in 1983?
Talda: [thinks, I wasn't even 2 years old yet] Um…no. No I wasn’t.
talda: i’m just being honest
Matt: yes. it’s ok.
Matt: you like to antagonize
talda: yes. yes i do
talda: haha, you can’t spell antagonize without t-e-a-n-a
Matt: i don’t like this.
talda: don’t like what? that i antagonize other people too?
Matt: haha yes
talda: haha. i can not put it up
talda: make you feel a little more special
Matt: or… put an asterisk by my name
talda: an asterisk? why for?
Matt: to say that i’m special.
Matt: and individual results may vary
talda: look at you. all lawyer-y
Just for you Matt*
talda: is it wrong to pick out the raisins in an oatmeal-raisin cookie?
Mel: i wouldn’t!!!
Mel: but i like raisins
talda: i’m getting full. i always start picking out things i don’t really care for out of food when i start to get full
talda: as if taking out those bits will free up space for the rest of the food
talda: that should have been one of my random facts about myself
People [and when I say people I mean everyone who doesn't live in California] always ask me how I could live in California with “all those earthquakes.”
How? Easy. This is how I can live with “all those earthquakes…”
No one moves. People keep typing. Couple of seconds later…
Co-worker 1: Did you feel that?
Co-worker 2: Yeah
CO1: Congratulations on your first earthquake in this building. At least I think it was an earthquake. Could have been a truck.
CO2: I felt one before a couple of weeks ago, I think.
CO1: Are you sure it was an earthquake. Sometimes you can feel it when a truck goes by
Talda: That was an earthquake?
Talda: Huh. I thought it was a truck.
It wasn’t a truck.
So to answer your question, it’s because half the time we think an earthquake is JUST A GIANT TRUCK.
talda: Lindsey, I’m so glad mom and dad had you.
Lindsey: Why? Because I’m the cookie goddess?
talda: [looks at her and smiles]
Lindsey: I can’t believe you only love me because I make you cookies!
talda: You only love me because I turn on your heater in the morning!
Lindsey: I love you because you’re my sister. The heater is just a nice thing. At least my reason’s better…
talda: Hey! Cookies are awesome!