Dear boys that came before,
Hi. I know it’s been years since we last seen or talk to each other. I guess this is kind of an anti-Valentine, or un-Valentine to you, but I don’t wish ill on any of you for anything that’s happen. I actually want to thank you for all that happened. It’s taken me a while to get to a point and think back to my past relationships and understand the lessons that were embedded in each encounter. You know what they say about hindsight and getting wiser with age and stuff.
But I just wanted to take the time to say thank you for everything you did. I know most of it was pretty crappy and I was pretty much left in tears after almost every experience [save for one] but it was all for the best. No really, it was. I’m a better person, I know it’s completely cliche, but it’s true.
So to the boys in high school: you were only the start of my boy crazed days, where I had a new crush roughly every school quarter. You taught me to have the courage to actually stand up and say, I like you, and own my feelings and not just sit around and be some giggly mess.
Oh, and to the other boy in high school with the crazy jealous girlfriend: thank you for that extra drama. Because you didn’t tell her the truth about your dating past, I had to learn how to deal with someone hating me for no other reason than the fact that I existed. From you, I learned how deal diplomatically with this person and the artful skill of putting someone in their place without so much as raising my voice. Just like in the movies! It was awesome. Plus it was a hilarious story that played out for weeks in my favor so again, thank you!
To the mixed boy: thank you for showing me that I am a desirable person and could be more than just the “friend” or the “sister.” But I also learned that there are just some things that you can’t overlook; there are some core values that, no matter how you try to downplay it, they will always be a big deal. We would have worked well together on the surface but there were so many important things that we did not see eye to eye on that it would have ultimately been disastrous, so thank you for breaking my heart when you did and not waiting. I didn’t understand it at the time [and told you as much] but I see the value in the early exit.
To the boy…oh goodness, this boy. Let’s just leave it at that. To that guy: I’m not really sure why we even happened. I know I was kind of in a weird place but I don’t even know what was really going on there. Anywho, what happened, happened and there were some nice lessons to be had from that experience. Thank you for making me feel so stupid about what I was doing that I vowed never to do that again. I know even now when I think about it, I cringe and shake my head because it was such a dumb thing to do. We’re all granted at least one “what was I thinking?!” moment and you were it. Thanks for showing me that I suck at playing “the game” and that I should never ever try to do that again. Also, I should never lower myself and my standards; they are high for a reason. I need those standards and I will never abandon them again.
From my dealings with you all, I learned that I there was someone out there best suited for me. That part of my life was supposed to be spent trying on all the wrong things just so I knew what the right thing would feel like. You gave me the motivation to keep searching for the right man, holding onto the hope that I deserved love and that I would one day find it. And when I did find it, I would do everything in my power to make sure I kept it.
So thank you for being so wrong for me that I was able to find the guy that was so right for me.
Signed,
Me