Talda.com

It’s the weekend! Practically. Okay, almost. But it’s technically my Friday since the office will be closed tomorrow. Do you know how happy I was this morning to turn off my alarms? I love turning off my alarms! It’s like heaven on earth. Le sigh.

I have no real plans for this weekend. Oh the glories of staying home and napping whenever the breeze blows across my face. I love it.

Well, that’s not true, I do have some plans. I’m going to a get-together tomorrow and then the second niece’s birthday, which is today! Happy birthday dude! Ahem, we’re supposed to be celebrating that on Sunday but I’ll be home and that doesn’t require that I put on real pants.

Yay for comfy yoga pants.

I do plan on making cupcakes tonight though. I’m going try another attempt at recreating a banana cream pie as a cupcake. I’m not sure how I will replicate the creamy portion of it, I’m not too hot on the idea of a filled cupcake but maybe I’ll just try for the flavors instead. My first attempt weren’t that hot. I didn’t get passed the cake part of the cupcake. I tried doing the box mix plus pudding mix trick to get the banana flavor but I don’t think I accounted for the extra dry ingredients with the ratio for wet so they were a little off. This time I’m experimenting with a vanilla cake and banana buttercream and a banana cake with a vanilla buttercream. We’ll see what ends up being liked the best.

And then I can go towards getting that creamy texture of the pie involved. Which I think will mean I’ll have to venture into the world of filled cupcakes. You know there will be pictures so stay tuned for that!

So on Thursday I took myself out to see Transformers 2. Y’all know how much I’ve been looking forward to that. Since I had a doctor’s appointment, I took advantage of being home much earlier and got a ticket for the first evening show [and coincidentally the last matinee viewing = = CHEAP TICKETS! Woot!]

So if you haven’t seen the movie yet, don’t read this post. Plot spoilers abound. Consider yourselves warned.

Initially, I liked this movie. Not as good as the first one but still good in its own right. However, everything happened very quickly. I know I kind of complained about how it took forever to see our first transformer last time, but they certainly got to the point quickly. So much so that I didn’t have a chance to build up that anticipation to see Optimus because BAM! There he goes. And I felt like this one was campier than the first. That whole scene about Sam’s mom eating the pot brownie? Really? Because that lasted a few minutes too long.

It was definitely more graphic…well, as graphic as you can get with computer generated robots [plenty of split heads and stabbings and shootings].

Of course there were the plot holes. I felt overall that it was a bit rushed in places but it also looked like they just slapped a few scenes together and called it a day. I was looking for how they’d explain Shia’s hand being busted [after his DUI incident] but they didn’t even do that. Didn’t address it at all. At first I thought it would be written into the part where Megatron has him pinned down on some platform but nope, he escaped scott-free. So when did they do it? Oh, after they were in the Smithsonian one second talking to an ancient transformer who then teleported them to Egypt. They fall all over and get up, they spot each other and suddenly its night and Megan Fox is wrapping Shia’s hand with a bandage. WTF dude. How did he hurt his hand while TELEPORTING?! Are there sharp objects in the vortex? It didn’t even look like he landed all funky on his hand either.

I didn’t like the new transformers they introduced: the motorcycles left a lot to be desired and Skids and Mudflaps were annoying and off-putting. I actually wanted them to die. Alas, it was not meant to be; like I was soooo excited when Mudflaps got eaten by Devastator [the Mighty Morphin Power Ranger decepticon] and then incredibly bummed when he survived. Like, my face fell, I was so disappointed. And the she-bot a la Species and Terminator? I mean, I knew something was wrong with her from the get-go. I don’t like knowing stuff like that from the get go. Though hearing Shia screech was worth it. But what’s the point of having a transformer who can turn itself into a human? Why are all the other ones still equipment?!

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I was going through my email today when I received a comment moderation alert from the weddening site. Of course it was just more spam though quite timely spam: would I be writing about Michael Jackon.

And the answer? At first it was no, I won’t be because I planned on talking about something else. But as I write this, I know I am falling into the web as everyone else. I think there are enough people memorializing Jackson’s death as is and at the risk of alienating some people and pissing off others, I’m admitting that I don’t much care.

I’ve heard some people say they will always remember what they were doing or where they were when they heard the news. Me? I was in my car, on the way to a doctor’s appointment and my first thought after the initial shock [because anyone who passes at 50 passed away too soon]?

“Well, we all have an appointed time…and if didn’t make things right, I wouldn’t want to be in the room when that judgment goes down.”

Incredibly callous, yes?

He is a musical genius and did provide the soundtrack for my childhood. I remember sitting behind the couch listening to the Thriller video because the zombies and the werewolf he turned into scared the crap out of me but I still loved the song. I remember watching Captain Eo in 3D at Disneyland. I remember watching the premiere of “Remember the Time” with my mom. I even owned Moonwalker [I think we might still have that tape somewhere in the house. Maybe] and I fell a lot trying to imitate that sick lean he did in Smooth Criminal. I remember the discussions with my aunts as they reminisced about “vintage” Michael before he grew pale and changed his nose. I appreciate the musical and dance inspirations he’s brought to the industry. And no one will ever top his music videos. They weren’t just videos, but mini movies.

We do have him to thank for the introduction of Michael DeLorenzo after all.

That said, the legend did not pass away yesterday. The legend will live on in his music and videos and in the memories we all possess. Yesterday the man passed away. If I were to mourn anything, it would be the man who left a family and friends behind. A man who had a stunted childhood and grew into a slightly bewildered man-boy with questionable decision-making skills. In the end, his curious personal life outshone his brilliant professional life which makes it hard to feel much of anything.

As much of a fan of his music, I can’t get passed his very public personal issues. It’s a little unfair, yes, but it is a part of him. It’s been a long while since I was able to listen to one of his songs without feeling that pang of sadness of a busted and very tarnished image. Yes I still bop around and sing along to his songs but it’s with a different and very real perspective. After separating the man from the legend this is who we have left…and is that worth celebrating? Maybe. Maybe not.

But however I feel, my condolences go out to the loved ones he left behind.

An awesome perk of living near a major metropolitan city is being able to enjoy the touring Broadway shows.

This month’s selection: Monty Python’s Spamalot! Oh yeah buddy! And let me tell you, you should see this. Really. It’s funny throughout. Especially the taunting Frenchmen.

The stage show was really great and it was awesome seeing J. Peterman [or you know, John O’Hurley] prance around on an invisible horse as King Arthur. I also loved all of the witty irreverent banter of the play, especially when they broke the fourth wall and pulled in the orchestra leader in on a few jokes. There was even a little audience participation [I so wish I was the lucky one...the guy also got a picture taken with the cast. So lucky!!!].

I met Tami there and we both had a fantastic time. It’s been a little bit since I last saw the movie [a few years back after forcing Lindsey to watch it…who only enjoyed the killer rabbit part] and I know it’s been years since Tam last saw the movie. We left singing “Always look on the bright side of life” [even though that was from “Life of Brian” and not Holy Grail].

It was amusing to see how some people dressed for the show. I guess because it’s a Broadway play they feel the need to dress up, but come on, it’s Spamalot. Not Les Misérables. I saw a few women that looked like they were going to hit a club after the show. Though I did see one guy dressed up as Tim the Enchanter. Bonus points for that guy.

I’m eagerly looking forward to the lineup announcement for next season. I really hope Legally Blonde comes back because I’d so love to see that. What else is playing on Broadway?

But I will say that I feel fortunate enough to have been able to catch these shows, especially Wicked.

Now that my Broadway season is over I’m really looking forward to checking out the King Tut exhibit that’s coming to town. Yes you did hear my inner Egyptologist squeal with delight. Tam plans on taking the kids to check it out and invited me to join them. I can’t wait!

I don’t follow my own advice or observations.

While I know I can be a bit of a handful at times, I am, for the most part, kind of easy going but I am proud and a bit rebellious, especially when I feel that my independence is being threatened. I become bitter and resentful even though I acquiesce. Sure I might actually eventually agree it was a good idea but either way, it’s not a good trait to have.

It has gotten me into plenty of trouble but it has also been my defense mechanism. A little outdated yes, but it was how I coped. With what exactly? A little bit of everything. I needed to have my rights, strengths and abilities acknowledged, yet whenever I was tossed aside, I could pick my head up, wrapped myself in my pride and think to myself, that’s okay. I didn’t need them anyway. And move on from there. It was often the only thing I had left.

But that attitude is self-serving and destructive if anything.

Is it wrong to want to my feelings to be understood and acknowledged? Absolutely not but there are proper ways of gaining that validation and it’s not going to be from reluctantly going along with the program while silently sulking. It won’t happen from brushing off others’ concerns while forcing my perception down their throat as diligently as possible. I can’t yell my way into validation.

I am a fighter. I always have been, carefully nurtured through various experiences but I can’t fight this way anymore. It’s a losing proposition and I’m risking way more than I could ever bear to lose. Instead of adapting to new environs, I’m trying to cram the world to fit me.

Nor is this about winning or losing. When I stop to think about it, there has been a subtle power struggle going on. But what’s the point in “winning” if I ultimately lose? My pride won’t be so comforting then.

So this is my way to letting go. Of letting go of that insane need to be right, of feeling as if I always need to be the leader, of insincere humility and rebellion. It’s been a long time coming and I know the road won’t be easy or quick or any of the lovely things we all long our personal changes can be made. There won’t be any snap of my fingers or magical poofs. It’ll be a learning process but a necessary, albeit late, lesson.

Last night I took that first step. I prayed that God shows me my path, that He breaks this age old spirit of pride and rebellion and teaches me what true humility is so that He is able to add to me what I thought I’d be losing.

I can’t change other people. All I can do is relate how I feel and hope they make the necessary changes. It’s up to me to focus on what I need to do to better my end. I need to let the ones that matter know just how much they matter. I need to just be and remember that it’s not a sign of weakness to allow someone who so desires to step in and take care of me.

It’s a sign of strength and trust.

We can do this together. And so it begins.