Dear Non-Fastrack Users on the Carquinez Bridge:
Hi. Hello. How are you? Fabulous. I just wanted to talk to you right quick about a disturbing and annoying trend I’m happening upon. The best thing about having Fastrack is the awesome ability to bypass the lines and breeze through the tollgates on the bridges [well, except the Bay Bridge on most days]. I love it. Plus, I don’t have to fumble around wondering if I have $4 to pay the toll.
But this is the thing, I’m sure you’re not blind since you are driving so I’m left to assume that you either don’t pay attention or don’t care, because I certainly don’t want to accuse you of just being plain stupid. Because that’s mean. However, there is a reason why the clever people at CalTrans placed TWO OVERHEAD DIRECTIONAL SIGNS on the bridge [the first being at mid-span and the second right at the end] so everyone knows what side they should be on: Fastrack on the left and cash on the right. It’s so simple and did I mention there were two signs? Along with words on the farthest left lane in paint saying it’s a Fastrack only lane? Because, with all of these warnings and signs and people practically hitting you in the face with this precious information, do you insist on waiting until you’re at the tollbooths to start making your way across 5 LANES to get to the cash tollbooths? Why? And why do you insist on doing this in front of me?
I mean, not only is this incredibly dangerous and stupid but you had plenty of time and warnings [remember the signs I talked about earlier] telling you where you needed to be but you wait until the last possible moment to realize, hey, I shouldn’t be here. I should be over there. And by “over there” you mean 5 LANES OVER. Ugh. Then you’re stuck trying to merge because other drivers have to slow and let you in and/or try to avoid hitting you and you suddenly inconvenienced everyone and put us all in danger because of your ineptness. Thanks.
And while I’m on the random ranting tip…
Dear Ipod and/or other personal music device listener:
Hi. Hello. How are you? Fabulous. Let me ask you something that’s been on my mind lately. Why in earth am I able to clearly hear what you’re listening to from five feet away? Don’t you know what you’re doing to your eardrums? One of these day’s you’ll …..missing…. ….and then….everyone will be laughing and……………..hate……….. You know what I mean? But really, if you’re just going to be blasting your music anyway, why not just carry around a ginormous boombox. It would just be easier. And fashionable. You know how people LOVE to bring things back. Thanks.